I spend so much time talking to my phone that I’m convinced it has a real estate license.
Every day I dictate texts while running between showings, and if someone intercepted
those conversations, I’d probably end up on a government watch list.
“I need the gate code.”
“Has anyone seen the hidden key?”
“The owners will be gone until three.”
“Tell them to come in through the back.”
“Don’t let anyone know you’re there.”
Relax, FBI. I’m just showing a condo.
Also, my phone is always listening. I’ll casually mention to a client: “You know…I need a new snow shovel.” Two minutes later…Instagram: “Top 10 Snow Shovels for Luxury Homes.” I whisper “vacation.” Suddenly I’m getting ads for Tuscany. I mention “hot tub.” Now apparently, I need spa chemicals, swimsuits and inflatable flamingos.
My phone isn’t spying. It’s just…very invested in my lifestyle.
And don’t ask me where I was yesterday. According to my phone, I spent the morning at
the Ritz, had lunch in Beaver Creek, stopped by four multimillion-dollar homes, and
ended the day at a penthouse in Vail Village. If only my tax return looked as impressive
as my GPS history.
Then there’s Siri, my newest assistant, who has yet to close a single transaction. I’ll say, “The seller is motivated.” She types, “The seller is medicated.” Not exactly the marketing message I was going for. Or I’ll dictate, “The views are spectacular.” She proudly sends, “The ewes are spectacular.” Now my buyers think I’m selling a sheep ranch instead of a ski home.
My Apple Watch isn’t much better. During a tense negotiation, it politely buzzes to inform me, “Your heart rate seems unusually high.” Really? Thanks for the diagnosis. It’s not a medical
emergency—it’s inspection resolution day.
Then my phone has the nerve to shame me every Sunday. “Your screen time increased 42% this week.” Of course it did. I’m a realtor. That’s like telling a ski instructor they spent too much time on the mountain.
The truth is, technology has made selling luxury real estate easier…most of the time. But
between smart locks that aren’t smart, voice-to-text that has its own creative vision, and
a phone that’s clearly listening to every conversation, I’m beginning to think the
technology is running the business. I’m just the person carrying the charger.
And…don’t even get me started on AI.